Anyone for Tennis?

I am supposed to write about sport today, but find that there is not much that I have to write. I could write about India thrashing the Poms but unfortunately given that this is one of the weakest Pom sides ever to visit the country in recent times it does not make for interesting copy.

So perhaps I should write about the Indian Davis Cup team. After all we won a series rubber against the Pakis and if one were to read news reports it would seem like we won the Davis Cup itself. Are the Pakis any good at tennis? I don’t think so but so long as beat up on the Pakis it’s time for the nation to rejoice. Never mind that both nations are just as bad at the game. Never mind that this is some insignificant Asia-Oceania group relegation match. Never mind that there is not a single grass court in Mumbai and that we had to cordon of some part of the Brabourne stadium to prepare a makeshift venue. Never mind that Leander Paes sidelines Rohan Bopanna and decides to play the final match himself, (it was a nice win-win situation for Paes. If he lost he would have been described as a warrior who gives all for the cause of the country and if he won then he would be a warrior who never lets the country down). This time around he was the warrior who never lets the country down. Never mind that dynasty was on display once again with Prakash Amritraj managing to play for the country though he has barely ever lived in India, although one must say that it’s a smart decision considering he is unlikely to even make a tenth string American Davis Cup team (I wonder when we will get to see Ramesh Krishnan’s son in the Davis Cup).

Mr Historian

The sudden appearance of a cricket appearance in the form of one Mr Borai Majumder always mystified me. I found it strange that this cherubic Bong had come out of nowhere and was suddenly on every TV channel which wanted the historians views on everything related to cricket. I thought the chap looked too young to be a real historian (somehow historians are these old grey-haired chaps for me) and then again no one mentioned anything about his qualifications other than saying that he wrote a book on one of India’s tours to Pakistan. I confess that I also found him rather pompous and over-enthusiastic quite Like one Mr Sidhu and one Mr Srikanth. It turns out now that the historian was born when Jagmohan Dalmiya and the BCCI commissioned him to write a book on the tour. They actually paid this chap to write the book, something that our historian friend never cared to reveal and we would never have known but for the Pawar-Dalmiya battle which led to the revelation. Just shows that you can’t even believe all that you see these days. As for our news guys not being able to figure this out on their own, just shows you that we don’t much care to o into the history of the people we use.

Mere Paas Cash Hai, Mere Paas Caste Hai, Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?

I know I failed miserably in keeping my resolution of two weeks ago to blog more regularly. But I have decided to not give up and follow that wonderful poem which we had in school which told us 'tis a lesson you should learn, try try again; if at once you don't succeed try try again'

And since it is Monday I am going to start again with Politics

There were once three friends, Rich Ram, Caste Ram and Aam Ram. The three of them lived in the same neighbourhood, studied in the the same school, lusted after the same chicks, shared the same dreams (getting into an IIM) - all in all they were pretty similar to one another. There were some minor differences as well like Rich Ram was rich, Caste Ram was from a backward caste and Aam Ram well he was neither rich nor from a backward caste.

But nobody ever took much notice of that and in fact everyone in the neighbourhood saw them together and said, "Those three are like triplets, may they never be separated'

The three boys also felt the same way. To prove that they were serious Rich, Caste and Aam had pricked their fingers, drawn blood and stored that blood in a single bottle. Said Rich, "No one can look at this blood and say if it is Rich, Caste or Aam. We are now blood brothers"

Time flew by and soon they were in class XII. It was a tense time after all their future depended on it what with a big board exam on hand and all those engineering and medical entrances that were due after that. Despite the rise in the mercury the three friends remained steadfast and their biggest worry was what if they all got admissions into a different college.

It was unlikely given that all three of them were average students and in their heart of hearts they knew that they were unlikely to do spectacularly well in the board exams or clear any of the medical and engineering exams. It was most likely that they would all be together doing their BSc in the local college.

The exams came and went and would you believe it the three had identical marks in their board exam which was well below the cutoffs for engineering and medical. The friends having collected their marksheet walked home and began to make plans for their new life at the local Science college.

Rich Ram entered his house and told his parents that he had only got 70 per cent and so in all probability he would join the local college and do a BSc in Mathematics. he added that Caste and Aam were likely to ollow a similar course.

His parents just smiled and said, "Beta, don't be silly. We have spoken to the private engineering principal here and he has said that for 10 lakhs you will be given a seat for engineering." Rich looked at his parents and said, "But won't that be unfair to the guy who got 71% and does not have 10 lakh? Smells like reservation to me!" His father said, " Don't be silly beta. What id the use of all this money if we can't help you. Secondly just because you did badly in one exam does not mean you should not be an engineer. There is no difference between 70 and 71%. And anyways what future do science graduates have?" All this set Rich thinking.

In the neeigbouring house Caste broke the news to his parents and told them about the BSc plans. His parents smiled and said, "Beta I have spoken to the local engineering college and you will get admission at 70%." Caste Ram looked at his parents suspiciously and said, "How is that possible?" His father looked benignly at him and said, "It's all thanks to your ancestors good deeds. Your great-grandfather lived in a very backward area almost two hundred years ago and so you are part of the OBC list." Caste was stunned and he said, "But if I use such a benefit then what happens to the guy who got 71%. This smells like reservation to me." His father said, "Beta 200 years ago even if your great grandfather had got 90% they would not let him into college, so it is only fair that you reap the benefits of that injustice. Besides do you want to disprespect your ancestors by not using the certificate." All this set Caste thinking.

Aam Ram came home and revealed his marks and told his parents that he would have to do his BSc. His parents smiled and said, "Which ever government college you get in on the basis of these marks you take admission. We are fine with that."

The three friends met in the evening and exchanged notes. Aam said, "So we are all going to do our BSc?" Rich said, "My parents are getting me admission in the prvate engineering college. I know it sounds like reservation but the truth is that my father will be very disappointed if I dont become an engineer and our shastras forbid us from hurting our parents."

Caste said, "My parents are getting me admission into the government engineering college adn I know it sounds like reservation but the truth is that to not go there would to let my ancestor's great sacrifices in the past go in vain."
Aaam looked at them and said, "But what about our dreams of a meritocracy and equality and end of class and caste?"

Rich said, "It is meritocracy only. I have done better than other people who can pay capitation and so I have got admission"

Caste said, "Pure meritocracy. I have done better than the other reserved candidates so I am getting admission."

Aam thought about it and said, "Yes, and complete meritocracy. I guess that my parentswere not meritorious enough to make enough money and my great grandfather was not meritorious enough to come from a backward place and so this is what I merit."

The three friends nodded and went their separate ways.

Epilogue

Last hear Aam was berating his father for not being rich or backward enough.

Update from Thailand

I know I was supposed to write on Friday. However, I am holidaying in Bangkok and therefore faile to keep my tryst with destiny on Friday. But this is a new week and I shall try to stick to my commitment through the week. I can't write on Indian politics since I have no clue what is happening down there and do not intend to waste my holiday reading Indian news sites.
So i will just write some stuff about the visit here.
Like a good journalist let me begin by name dropping. I happened to spot Saurav Ganguly in a mall in Bangkok. I know it was him because I went and asked him if he was indeed Saurav and he said yes. In case you are wondering what he was doing there, he was shopping for a pair of jeant at some local jeans counter where there was a big board which said 450 baht. I don't know about Chappel's allegation of Dada being broke but I can dcefinitely say that dada is not very brand conscious and definitely searching for a good deal given the haggling that he seemed to be indulging in.
Now that I have name dropped lets get to the next thing that sells more copies - SEX. Visited the famed Pat Pong Street and all I can say is that it is highly over-rated. Sure there are women in all stages of undress hanging around there but they look bored and disinterested. They almost seem to be saying that 'yeah now that you have seen most of my body do you feel better/wiser/enlightened?' or that 'so now can you identify my privates ina police line up now that you have looked at it for 20 minutes?'
For most part it is rather disgusting to see Caucasian geriatrics roaming the street with girls a third of their age. How bad is it? Well apparently the children of a British woman and a Thai man can get British citizenship however that privelege is not accorded if the man is British and the woman is Thai. Simply because Maggie Thatcher figured that given the number of men going to Thailand it could become a big immigration problem and passed a bill to this effect which still stands.
For those of you who still love this city for its shows well the hottest thing these days seems to be 'the ping pong ball show' which is what all the tuk tuk (rikshaw) drivers, shop-keepers etc accost you and try to get you to watch. I am told it involves women shooting out ping-pong balls from their private oarts. Would not know for sure cause I never cared/dared to see one.

More on Tuesday about this really nice place that we lived called Suk11

PS
For those of you still interested in your politics, there is an election which took place here called for by thhe embattled Thai prime minister. Its nice to find the usual charges of corruption, a biased Election commission and all of that happening here as well. On the flip side though there does seem to be an intellegentsia made up of Unviersity profs which has been trying hard to unseat the prime minister and asking people to register a protest no-vote to get people out